I woke up this morning from not a nightmare but not a good dream, just a super weird dream, like usual. I opened my eyes and looked around the room and, again, like usual, was startled for about 26 seconds until I remembered where I was. I was able to remember when I looked over next to me and saw the cute blonde I drank too much tequila before drinking him.
I do not even faintly recall the sex. I’m sure it ended in me spraying everything down like I’m the super-hero, “Hose Girl”. I actually hate doing that. Guys love but I hate it because it’s a freaking mess.
I looked at the clock, “oh shit, I’M LATE”.
I jumped up and started running around the very huge bedroom with the weirdest red shag carpet. Thank God I wore white pants last night because against that red they stood out like a period (accidentally on them).
I snatched up my pants and I’d like to say, “I jumped into them”, but it was more of a one leg then the other leg then about 4 jumps while pulling up on the waistband. I wear a 7 and no bigger and I don’t want to hear any shit about it.
Luckily, my shirt was near my pants but unfortunately I had to find my bra first before I could put on the shirt. I looked around wondering where the hell it could be. My eyes scanned the bed and there I saw one hot pink stem from a hot pink flower on the left strap. I scooped up the bra, put my titties in it and got at least two of the fasteners in the back closed before putting on my shirt.
I didn’t have to worry about finding my phone because I always leave that in the car. So I grabbed my purse which was on the kitchen counter, found my keys inside of it (very weird) and ran out of the door. Once I got outside, I couldn’t see my car. It was a brand new, white, Tesla Model S, two door…gorge….omg….but where the in the hell was it. Just as I was about to start screaming I saw a garage door and was lit with a faint memory of some sexy kisses amidst a conversation about carbon monoxide and DMT. I hope whatever I said didn’t sound stupid cause damn that man was fine. I wish I could remember his stupid name.
Jump Into The Vortex 