This blog post was written in 2017 and posted on my other blog, Athena’s Wicked Owl, I want it on this blog so I can easily see the progress I am making.
Lord, I know oftentimes throughout my strife I have been less of a human and more like wildlife and I know so many times I’ve screamed and I’ve cried begging you to help me just one more last time…always admitting I crossed the damn line and always promising I’ll do no more crime if you’ll please reach me your hand and help me to climb out of this hole and wash off the grime and you never have failed with your harsh, sweet sublime to do what I asked when I had neither dollar nor dime…but GUESS WHAT, YAH? I’M BACK IN THE LINE.
I sit yet again, in a slovenly pen which is now and has always been the manifestation of my mind.
I do declare it’s a mess in there and I just do not know where I put that spare. It’s lost amongst the animal hair and dirty underwear and a few shares of stale food that I never ate because I swear, I’m never hungry and I got no clean plate.
Listen, please God, I need you real bad cause the knot in my stomach which is made out of sad is metastasizing fast like a Kardashian fad and if it keeps up it’s spreading I just might really go mad.
I have begun to notice that each time I ask the time I must wait longer than last. I’m not sure why that is, but I need your help fast. I am quite certain, cause I’ve heard in the past that the harder life gets and the more overcast and the more I’m harassed and more put on blast, the more steadfast my heart stands on the wall it’s tiredly amassed.
I do not believe that’s the lesson I need to acquire the manna my soul needs to feed. I was put here to hurt and put here to bleed. Pain is the best teacher I need to help find that one seed of mustard it takes to succeed…and success in this life is not guaranteed and when it comes to evolving I would rather concede to wholly agree: humility and love are the Divine Decree.