Maybe Halfway to Infinity

Oh, my god, my mood feels so bad. I hate feeling this way, I would rather feel anything else…In fact, I’d love to feel mad…but I do not often get that anymore. I think when depression moves in and takes over your life, it closes the door to everything including the anger who is the roommate of strife. The worst part is that I have no idea why. Why did I wake feeling this way, I had no nightmares and plus the day just began so there hasn’t even been time for something to happen to make me less than…so then it would follow necessarily that the feelings are coming up and out of me from my subconscious best friend the latch-key kid who has no words, he only reads pictures and signs and beliefs that I hold but didn’t design. He also must be super-autistic cause his mind and god’s mind share the same characteristics. However unrealistic this may sound it is that I am saying that part of my brain is a fucking rain man and I have spent years just learning to train him, I was 20 years old when that journey began. Am I even halfway there? I think this thought often as I sit in my chair.