What’s Next?

As much as I hate to say it, I can’t ever lie

tonight I feel like I just want to die

I don’t really even know why

maybe I’m lonely

maybe I’m not

maybe I miss my kids

they’re the only family I got

and their dad took them away

for the second time

after he did meth for two years and committed a crime

so he went to jail and had to get clean

but for those years he smoked dope

he was living with me

He had nowhere else to live

because his family kicked him out

and I opened my door to him without hesitation or doubt

even though the first time he took them my youngest was three

and since he never lived with us they were just used to me

I guess when I filed he got pretty riled

I was put in his crosshairs as as he aimed down sight

and I’m speaking in metaphor but the truth is I wish he had just killed me for real

because ten years of this is some fuckshit ass deal

and I’d just rather move on to whatever is next.